Week 7: 139.9 lbs, 1 lbs gain from last week.
Week 6: 138.9 lbs, 1.2 lbs less from week 5.

I don't want to sound like a downer, but I really have been feeling low.  Low energy, low motivation, low self-esteem.  I'm reaching graduation and I'm dawning on the fact that I might not even find a unpaid internship within my field.  I'm disappointed in myself for putting trust in my academic advisors, who have let me down time and time again with false hopes of amazing career opportunities.  To drown out my doubts and seemingly hopeless future, I ate a whole box of choxie chocolate truffles (9 total), took a nap, and nearly cried.

Weight loss can feel so inevitable when life is so low.

BTW, i will be going on a mini field trip for school: an Ecotourism Whale Watching tour in Baja.  During a presentation, the trip advisor, who knows about my depression, looked straight at me and said "some have called this trip a spiritual experience."  We'll see...I promise to write about the trip, the food, and how I manage to stay on-top of my weight-loss while travelling.

02/15/2010 19:47

There are let downs in life that can be crushing, especially from those we are told can guide us like "advisors". There are those, be few or many, that we have in our lives that make it special and joyful. And you have yourself Kathryn. You are a strong being and individual that has much to be proud of. The future is scary and unpredictable, but with our best efforts we can guide ourselves into a life fulfilled. I love you sweetheart.

02/15/2010 23:35

I know how you feel. Sometimes I think you're too right about how in tuned our lives our. I find myself following nasty patterns of the depression, moodiness, resting (sometimes too much), and weight gain. I hope the best for you and your career goals because you know what you want and it is not unrealistic anymore. If you want to have a ranting session I'm all here and don't worry if it's not the best time I understand. Know that time will get better for you and it will all come together very soon.

With much respect,

02/24/2010 14:50

I am so sorry that you are having a rough time. I can relate to the depression, and it is so hard for me to exercise and eat correctly when my mind is not in the right frame. I hope your trip helps; it sounds amazing.


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