...you proudly say it's muscle, or you do what most women do...BLAME IT ON THE FAT!  =(

Week #3: 136.5 Lbs., gained 2.5 Lbs  from week prior, gained 0.3% Body Fat.

I believe that a pound of my weight gain is FAT.  Should I give up and hate myself?  Here's my story:

I worked out EVERYDAY and HARD, but I did not eat 100% clean.  My eating pattern was thrown off by my emotions again.  Control slipped away when I decided to quit my job and give them my two-weeks notice..so I didn't eat, or I ate too much.  I tried my hardest to eat healthy food, but then fried chicken won the emotional battle. I ate 15 wings at a birthday party, plus chocolate layer cake, plus cheese cake.

Emotional eating is a habit I can't get rid of.  When I gain weight, I automatically blame the food and myself.  I suddenly forget about all the hours in the gym and all the hard work.  So, I took a minute, a little breather, to remind myself that I did gain weight.  Was it healthy weight???

In the end, I did the math and...

MUSCLE WON because I gained 1.5 Lbs of muscle to my 1 pound of fat.
When muscle-mass is growing, there is no shame in packing pounds, ever!  =)

p.s.  I tried a group yoga class, which I haven't done for years and I love it!  Someone that has a 24 hour fitness membership should join me!
...is beyond my expectations!

Week 2: 134 LBS, Removed 4 LBS from week prior, Removed 0.7% Body Fat.

During the week, I kept track of all the food I ate, workouts I did, and how I felt.
My biggest concern is that I still crave basic things like fried chicken and chocolates during my stressful moments.  I laugh that I find those items "basic." 

When I stress out or get the least bit sad, fried chicken and chocolate become my body's triggers for instant comfort.

However, it won't last for long!  I'm training my mind and building my armor to fight!

I have stuck with the BFL eating program* and this week have been able to say no to the bucket of fried chicken sitting in the fridge.  This image now disgusts me, seeing the grease seep into the paper bucket is like looking for a cigarette in an ashtray...just say no!

Positive things that have helped me this week:

The Blender Bottle

This thing looks cheap but man does it make protein powder taste so good!  It's also extremely easy and fun to use!

Syntha-6 Protein Powder, Cookies and Cream Flavor

I will rave, rave, rave about how good this product is!  I was getting tired of the same old chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry protein shakes.  But this...oh MAN..this tastes like ICE CREAM!  YUM!  It also has slow releasing protein so it fills my stomach up, which means I get fuller faster and stay satisfied longer!

Body-for-LIFE for Women

I have the BFL for Women book and I love the book's take on Hormonal Milestones.  Your age doesn't fully determine what hormonal stage you're in.

I stopped comparing myself to college classmates, my younger thin friends, and other 20 somethings.  I look at my body for what it really is!

This book tackles how to balance weight and mood during each hormonal stage.  The photos and stories gave me motivation to keep going.

*Note: I modified the BFL eating program, instead of a "Free Day" I eat only 1 or 2 "Free Meals" a week and eat 100% clean.  I also modified the BFL workout program and added 20 mins High Intensity Cardio for 6 days a week.

138 LBS

...That means I have 4 weeks to try and make my goal of 130 Lbs by my 25th birthday.

Losing 2 lbs a week is quite a feat for my body.  I have never been able to progress that fast and consistent, even on the Body-For-Life Program.  Maybe it is because I don't always follow the 80/20 rule.  It's more of 60/40 rule.  Let's be honest, I manage to eat clean 4 out of 7 days...maybe 3 out of 7 now?

My mission is to FIGHT this time around!

From now until my birthday, Jan. 31, 2011.  I'm going to push myself.


Body-For-Life Exercise, Modified with 20 min High Intensity Cardio EVERYDAY, except on Sunday.

Body-For-Life Eating Program, Modified with NO FREE DAYS--ONLY 1 or 2 free meals a week.

I don't beat myself up if I mess up just a little.  I bounce back stronger and hit my goals harder.  I feel success this time around.



1 Comment


Weight: 138, gained 3 lbs since last post, ugh!

I need to refocus.  I've lost my energy and determination to lose weight, organize my room, and find a job.

When I was on my own I had control.  When I'm at home, living with family, that control starts to slip away.  Suddenly I can't resist pie...suddenly I feel more comfortable not going to the gym...suddenly more stuff appears in my room.

There are times when I feel like my dieting is annoying to those in my family.  Especially with my mother, who loves to cook.  There are also times when I get annoyed with my mother, who tells me the best way to diet when she can't practice what she preaches.

What I'm discovering, is that being at home is challenging and that what I did in Portland to balance my life is not going to help me at home.  I need to adapt and change my behavior.  My family will not change their ways, so I need to change mine.

My main resolution is finding my key to consistency.  What helps me stay on track and what doesn't.  I'm not sure how this is going to work, but I figure I need to set goals again and start journaling everyday.

Portland habits, I do feel should stick:
-I did journal my exercising and eating, while ignoring the scale.
-I bought my own food and made my own meals.
-I had a set schedule.

If I bring back these basics, I'm bound to see more positive.
I am indeed back for more blogging after having a 6 to 7 month break.
I didn't exactly make my goal of 130 lbs by graduation...I was more at 150 lbs.  OOPS, didn't mean to gain it back and then some. =)

There's me receiving an award from the Hospitality and Tourism Program Director, Carl Winston.  I knew I was going to be on stage, so I purposefully had my hair cover the chubbiness of my cheeks.  How sad that self image can make a confident person feel well..less confident.

However after graduation, I had the opportunity to live completely on my own in Portland, OR.  In my own bubble, I was able to fully control my eating, exercising, and living.  Portland is a very active city and I felt inspired everyday to workout.  I started the Body-for-Life program and finished my first challenge.  

I went from 150 lbs to 135 lbs in 12 weeks.  
Here are some before and after photos:

Front Before
Front After 12 Weeks
Back Before
Back After 12 Weeks
The amazing transformation is that I can see a huge difference in my chin and cheeks.  In past attempts to lose weight, I have never seen progress in my face as well as this challenge.  People also notice my hard work, which is another plus factor...still...

I wouldn't have been able to do it without reading other diet/weight loss blogs!  So thank you to all the people that continue to document their progress!

I owe it to myself as well as to those that inspire me to keep up with this blog.
So I changed my goal for this blog to now reach 130 lbs by my 25th birthday.

What I have learnt and will continue to learn is that there is no one magic solution to weight loss, especially those who struggle with it.  We have to adapt to what works for us and everyone is different.  However no matter what program or how much weight we want to lose, what every person needs is support!

So please, support me on my journey and I will support you in yours!


Week 13: 141.9 lbs, lost 1.1 lbs from Week 11
Week 14: none, no pressure!

I have a month left till graduation and I'm happy to be nearing the finish line.
Not so happy about my weight, but I guess that is typical me.

Weight gain and loss has been unpredictable and I feel as though I have only maintained my weight during this stressful time in my life.  Maintaining is not so bad, but as I reflect back on wanting to be 130 lbs by Graduation...I wonder if I set my goal too high for 3 months...is it unrealistic to really lose about 15 lbs in that short amount of time?

I won't lie, I am disappointed in myself for not trying harder.  But I am at peace for not gaining weight...i hope!  I think I was meant to feel 140 and be 140 at this time of my life.  A part of me just didn't want to be that big in my graduation photos for the invitations that will be mailed out this week.  I'm not vain, there's a lot of sadness in my heart when I think of myself as 140 and my mom only being 10 lbs heavier than me.  It hurts to feel so young and have so little control of my body.  It hurts more to feel so much pressure from someone so close.

I can't wait to graduate and get a job, living at home has damaged my self-esteem and I don't want to be one of those people that has everything and is still so unhappy with life.  

Due to gaining weight over the past 5 week, I have officially decided that I would not weight myself tomorrow.  So there will be no 12 week weight results.

My efforts to lose weight have been slightly tarnished, as my trainer recommended that I watch his favorite show, "Being Erica."

Which I did.  It is now #5 on excuses list as to why I didn't do my "homework" of 100 situps and 50 squats.  

#5) He told me to watch TV
#4) Quest - http://facebook.com/questsd is the student org that takes up all my time
#3) Did I tell you I'm trying to quit smoking, one thing at a time!
#2) I'm really behind in real homework
#1) I don't ever have a day to myself, thus I'd rather rest than workout...Sunday to Sunday feel like 12 hour days.  

this is how excited i wish i felt about working out, for realz!
Week 11: 143.0, gained 0.5 lbs from last week
Week 10: 142.5, gained 1.3 lbs from week 9.

In 1 month 4 weeks and 1 day, I graduate from college.

Other than that I have nothing else that's good to say... so I'll leave it at that.
Week 9: 141.3, 0 lbs gained/loss from last week.
Week 8: 141.3, 1.4 lbs gained from week 7.

I am back from Baja!  Here is a link to my photos http://flickr.com/gp/aquarius_ox/qQx98L

After looking at the photos, I realize that I looked pretty healthy in all of them.  It's amazing how well I can suck in my stomach for the camera!

Taco taco, burrito burrito. I did gain weight on my trip, but that was inevitable.  We dined out everynight.  I came home absolutely tired of mexican food.  No bueno.

I reached day 30...made it to level 2 out of 3...and worked out a grand total of 9 times!  I understand that results can happen if you commit, but this workout is not fun...and with no joy and all pain...I decided to save this workout for days that I want to be extra hard on myself, but other than that, it's not going into my daily routine.

, I'm hoping that working out will eventually become as fun as watching TV.
Week 7: 139.9 lbs, 1 lbs gain from last week.
Week 6: 138.9 lbs, 1.2 lbs less from week 5.

I don't want to sound like a downer, but I really have been feeling low.  Low energy, low motivation, low self-esteem.  I'm reaching graduation and I'm dawning on the fact that I might not even find a unpaid internship within my field.  I'm disappointed in myself for putting trust in my academic advisors, who have let me down time and time again with false hopes of amazing career opportunities.  To drown out my doubts and seemingly hopeless future, I ate a whole box of choxie chocolate truffles (9 total), took a nap, and nearly cried.

Weight loss can feel so inevitable when life is so low.

BTW, i will be going on a mini field trip for school: an Ecotourism Whale Watching tour in Baja.  During a presentation, the trip advisor, who knows about my depression, looked straight at me and said "some have called this trip a spiritual experience."  We'll see...I promise to write about the trip, the food, and how I manage to stay on-top of my weight-loss while travelling.